Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.
--rilke

Whoa, son. I feel like my head is spinning in a thousand directions. That doesn't really work, I don't think. Anyway...

I think I'm way too analytical and paranoid. I just need to let go. I always say, "Life's too short," and it is, but I just can't live by my words. So, have you ever sort of liked someone, but have been too afraid of the circumstances to just put yourself out there, no holds barred? I'm starting to mildew inside from just feeling DFA and not knowing what the heck is going to happen to me in the next couple of months. To anyone that reads this, especially my senior friends, VA, AL, SH, WM...do something crazy. Do something that is just out of the ordinary for you that you've wanted to do, but have just been too unsure to actually go through with it. Tell that hot girl or guy that you think they're swell. Then tell me who it was and how you did it!

On another note: jealousy. Not to be patronizing but jealousy is defined as being afraid of losing something you already have. Recent developments, which are still not in the know to most people, coupled with other factors like my bestest friend Jen and her beau, make me jealous. And you know, that's not a bad thing. Cait says it best: it sucks for you but it's great for the people that are fortunate to have someone.

I never pictured myself giving one rat's ass about being alone. I mean, I have a damn Mechanisms of Disease Test I should be studying for instead of doing this crap! I have things to occupy my time; I think it just sucks that when you get resentful that you don't want any of those things, or rather, you would trade it all just to be with someone, in some, I guess, "romantic" or "loving" capacity it just bogs you down a bit.

I am uberly happy for all of my peers that have their people. And it'll happen for me. And Caitlin. And all the other single, sexy people that deserve companionship, but just don't have it yet. But you can take the bull by the balls to some degree. I have. I'm debating whether I should now, again, actually. If you haven't, please do! Even if it blows up in your face, at least you tried and can spice up your life a bit.