Wow. What a great night. DG Spring Fling with a great date--my Susan. Thanks again for inviting me. I had a really, really great time. I'll keep this brief because I'm exhausted from dancing and drinking. This is going to seem very Carrie from SATC but here goes: What do you do when you like someone and they have no idea you like them? I can see the "scrolling" typing just as they portray on the great show that's now cancelled. Sadness.

Just today, I talked to Clare and we asked how we would respond if either of us, on graduation day, said that we had loved the other person since the beginning of our friendship, that is, that we had loved the other person but did not express it until the very end of our close encounters. I said that I would say that I was flattered and would like to see how it would go, but because our paths were going to be very different for the next few years to pick back up in a few months...years...decades??? Hopefully, not decades. But gosh. Let's see. I've been without a romantic attachment thus far in college, and it's been all right. I've surrounded myself with great friends, great activities, great times. Great, great, great. Great, great, great. But now, where do I stand? The inevitable hopefully isn't that inevitably I will be alone...forever. Melodramatic, much? I pine. That's right. I pine. Pine, you say? That's a soft wood, eh? Indeed. But, really, I pine for a relationship. I really am not trying to go into the direction of, "Oh woe is me! My life is doomed to a eternity of loneliness." But, gosh. I would really like to just be in love. That's right, dammit, in love. I want that Shakespearean sonnet, Lord Byron poetry, Danielle Steele saga...eh, maybe not the last one, kind of LOVE! I want my heart broken. Well, no. I want my heart to beat systolicly and diastolicly with LOVE for someone. Who, you ask? No se. Well, yes se, perhaps. But I ain't gonna "se". Haha, I'm too good. All I know is my heart is open for the taking. Applications accepted...line up outside Mobile 311 (soon to be Rubin 204C).

I refuse to end on such a crappy, sappy note. So my question, unaffiliated to any of my aforementioned babble, (and quite random) is this: How exactly does AOL Instant Messenger work? It's a friggin' enigma. I mean, obviously, some computer guru devised some way to code for these random screennames to converse with one another, but geez, they're friggin' smart. As I periodically nose myself into others' away message, my interest is peaked as to how they configure all of that jazz. It's just amazing. On that point, how does the internet work? Think about this, will you: When we're all old and gray and our grandchildren are like, "Whoa. Ya'll are so old; you were around when the internet was invented." I will say, "Sonny, can you believe that, in addition, we got cell phones and MTV's Newlyweds too!" Now, I'm just being silly. It's time for me to bid thee farewell.

Phew, perhaps I will be sappy. Being alone, in the romantic sense, is depressing sometimes. I wanna be close to someone. In the words of Tiny Toon Adventure's Elmira, "I wanna love 'em and squeeze 'em and hug 'em...." Maybe graduation day will be my day to reveal my love (or maybe it isn't love; maybe I'm fooling myself) for that special someone. Oh, and don't be pestering me as to who this someone is...I could be making it all up just to eat at your skin, like the victims of Kuru. That's right...Kuru. Kuru? "Que es eso," you ask. They are mortuary cannibalists who used to eat the bodies of dead ancestors and contracted a horrible prion disease. They all kicked the bucket in the '90s apparently. (The education never stops with this one...sorry for the repetitious lecture to all the Cell students...I know you already know, that is, if you didn't sleep through Kohnen's lecture.) Oy vay! I leave you with the simplest, greatest lyric to sum up my feelings: All you need is love. Maybe it isn't in the form of romance, but golly, I sure have friends and family that love me (I think???). And I LOVE that. Thank you for loving me. Gosh, I'm a retard! Ugh.