Have you ever heard that thing where you hate qualities in other people only because it's what you hate in yourself? Maybe not hate, per se, but you get it, yah? Or when you dislike them, you do so only because it's what you dislike in yourself? Well, I have always been offended by that notion. Really. People, namely my mom, always said that I bickered with my dad because we had the same qualities etc. etc. Well, actually, I still don't think that's true (I'm not kidding; and I'm not being stubborn).

However, after a conversation I had yesterday, I did realize something very real and provocative to me. I think when you realize that someone is doing something that you really, really don't want to be and have the distinctly possibility of being, it creates a shift in how you view that person. For example, during this Lenten Season, where change and self-awareness are in play, I think you tend to be more observant of people. I don't necessarily know if Lent is the reason that I realized this; actually, it's not; it was that conversation. But, say you're trying really hard not to gossip about people. Well, if you're around someone that does so, he or she professes that he or she wants to stop, but really doesn't follow through with it, it makes you realize that while you're making a concerted effort you could just as easily be that other person that you are trying so hard not to be. I don't really know if that's the best example because it's sort of a trivial situation and not really what I was thinking in my own life. I was just trying to exemplify my thoughts that I know don't make sense; sue me, sucker!

I came to the conclusion that I have noticed some of my friends represent to me things that I don't ever want to be, or that some of their qualities--their downfalls (?)--are something that I am trying so hard never to live.

Ooooohhhh...I bet you're wondering if you're that friend! Aren't you? I know you are. Rest assured, it's not THAT big of a deal (you probably are, though--just kidding...honestly). It's more of an internal, self-actualizing sort of a thing. Chances are you could give one's rat's butt (curtailing any bad language this Lent--Call me Ned Flanders) anyway. And that's good. You should be happy with who you are; obviously, if you weren't, you would try to change. Unless you like wallowing in your lowly, dejected, poopy state of existence.

It's sort of good to see that in others though because it helps improve oneself. As much as it irritates me, I really think that it pushes me harder to become the person I want to be, to mold myself slowly into a life that I think is appropriate and approving in not only God's eye, but my own, my friends, and all those around me. And even though you might not know what I'm saying, or because I'm being really ambiguous and vague (hey, it's my blog, I can write whatever I want), I am glad that I'm not judging. It's really not about anyone else. Realize that. Daniel=God is my judge! True dat, homie!

Follow your bliss.
xxx