constantly talking is not communicating.

so, there it is. it was great to re-see this brilliant, brilliant movie, "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind," especially because you pick up on so much more of it. well, not so much more, but all of the nuances that you neglect, or oversee, or just didn't register the first time. i sort of forced nick to watch it; i think all psychology-ish people should be required to see it, not because it's the end-all-be-all in psychological, screw-with-your-head movies, but just because it's very like, "whoa." if you haven't seen it, do it. brilliant. i have it playing right now actually. good background to this beautifully warm day, where i am about to work on homework, inside, stuck and trapped.

before i get into the inner depths of my mind, i must say i had a great day yesterday. jam-packed with stuff. strawberry fest., which didn't have many strawberries, unfortunately, then gulf shores beach (sort of chilly, peed in the water), original oyster house for dinner (yummy scallops and key lime pie) (all with clare, caitlin, greg, and april [for a while]), then double olive (al capone & a couple of blue moons) with an elton john impersonator (who was VERY good, by the way--talked to my jen jen...mmm...), then off to callahan's irish pub (where the bartender proceeded to completely skip our song selections at the jukebox), and then off to be-bob's for a quite interesting drag show (dey is scary). oh yeah, then to ihop for a late-night breakfast snack. needless to say, i'm exhausted and don't know how i'm making any sense right now. thanks adele and nicholas for making my night more eventful than i had anticipated.

so, yeah, constantly talking isn't communicating. frankly, 99% of the talking i hear or speak myself isn't communicating. do you ever find it so damn tiring to talk? it's just like la la la. sometimes, i must say it takes quite a bit of effort to smile and say hey, what's up? especially walking around campus. i was thinking about what it would be like if you only said shit when you really really wanted to or really had something meaningful to say. i think everyone would be a lot happier and not as irritated with people just yammering on. granted, this entire blog is just jabbering on and on, but i chalk that up to the fact that these are my thoughts, and i'm typing, so yes, i'm technically not speaking or talking.

i guess it just goes with the whole notion, that i know a lot of us share, that we're ready for some kind of relationship or whatever that doesn't rely on the obvious form of communication, which is talking. it would be so nice to know someone, to love someone, so well that you can just sort of communicate by each other's presences. silence is golden. i love hearing people's voice, and laughter, no doubt, but i really do think that i'm just ready to just throw myself into a role that fits without the social obligations of being happy and nice and talkative. too bad it'll never happen for me.

la la la, anyway, i was just thinking (not talking).